Taco Talk - California Tortilla Newsletter
TACO TALK
December 2008, Issue 161
YEE-HA! WE’RE PSYCHIC!
As many of you already know, California Tortilla accurately predicted that Barack Obama would be our next president. And while pretty much every poll for a month before the election indicated the same thing, we’re still quite pleased with our election-predicting abilities. (Have you ever noticed that we’re always much more pleased with ourselves than anyone else ever is?)
Anyway, now that we’ve got these new found psychic powers, we’ve got some predictions that we’d like to share with you for the coming year:
Sure-Fire Cal Tort 2009 Predictions
- Smelts will replace potato chips as America’s favorite snack food.
- Heloise will replace her annual column on smoke detector maintenance with a much more helpful one called "How to Tell if You’re on Fire." (How old is Heloise by now—107?)
- California Tortilla will be made into a weekly TV drama based on "the exciting happenings of the burrito world." The show will be dropped after one episode when the network realizes that there are no exciting happenings in the burrito world.
- Once they realize it’s the only place they can make a guaranteed 10% on their money, scores of people across the land will take all of their money out of the stock market and put it into the California Tortilla Burrito Elito program. Many of these people will be Taco Talk readers.
- Nicole Kidman’s forehead will put on its own dance recital.
You heard it here first, folks...
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Which burrito is most delectable? You've decided. The McCain-Chilada Burrito: The O-Chili-Bama Burrito:
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THIS JUST IN…
California Tortilla is dipping its toe in the social networking pool. For fun facts and super secret promotions, follow us on Twitter and/or Facebook. Just go and follow the links.
Now raise your hand if you think I have any idea what I just wrote means
JUST A FEW MONDAYS LEFT!
That’s right, there are just a few Mondays left to receive double points on your Burrito Elito card. As of December 31st, Double Point Mondays will go the way of rotary phones (she says wistfully)–after that we’re back to reality.
So come on in as many Mondays as you can between now and the end of the year and take advantage this great deal. And if you haven’t perfected your “I love my Burrito Elito Card” dance, there’s still time!
DARN FABULOUS CAL TORT HOLIDAY GIFT IDEAS
I think it's time you knew what about Cal Tort makes me dance:
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Gift Cards:
Get the gift that says, “I think you’re worth at least $20 in Mexican food.” (Feel free to adjust they’re worth up or down.)
Burrito Elito Card:
Once you earn $5 in Burrito Bucks on your card, re-gift it! Re-gifting is allowed in a stinky economy and even if it’s not, I like any opportunity to use the word stinky in a sentence.
A California Tortilla Franchise:
What better way to show us you love us than by buying your very own California Tortilla?
Hot Sauces:
Set an extra festive holiday tone by giving your favorite hostess a bottle of Colon Cleaner! (For the record, I protested carrying this hot sauce but was overruled by the men in the office.)
A California Tortilla T-Shirt:
What better way to show us you love us than by buying your very own California Tortilla?
ON THAT NOTE...:
Have a safe and happy holiday!
A helpful example of the "I love my burrito elito card" dance
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